Love Sick
by EmeraldDream
Summary: Pre-slash - Snape/Lupin. Lupin forgets to take his potion and Snape muses on his feelings towards the werewolf. (Takes place during POA)


Title: Love Sick  
  
Author: Emmy  
  
Rating: PG.  
  
Contents: Pre-slash - Snape/Lupin.  
  
Note: This takes place during POA. Please note that there are spoilers for POA in this fanfic!  
  
Severus Snape was standing in his office after the last Potions class of the day. All in all it had been a fairly good day as far as he was concerned. He had managed to take 20 points from Gryffindor and his last class had been unusually well behaved. A nearby time glass caught his attention, the last of the sand sifting to the bottom faster than he felt it should. A feeling of dread suddenly overcame him. Lupin's potion was finished.  
  
Severus enjoyed making potions, but this was perhaps the only exception. When he had been a student at Hogwarts Severus had developed an immense crush on Gryffindor boy of his own age named Remus Lupin. Remus was extremely handsome and very kind. Despite Remus' kindness, he became friends with three of the most troublesome boys ever to plague Hogwarts: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. Severus especially hated Black. Black was always foiling his plans to get closer to Remus without giving away his feelings.  
  
Then one day Sirius told Severus how he could follow Remus past the Whomping Willow. Severus' hands clenched as he remembered what had happened. Sirius, Remus, and James had not only humiliated him - they had nearly killed him. His hatred for Black and Potter grew and found it unbearable to even look at Remus.  
  
Now he knew Remus' secret; that horrible sight had haunted him from the night he had been tricked by Black. That night he learned what Remus really was - a werewolf. After he had graduated, Severus had found himself free of Remus and eventually he managed to become the Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House at Hogwarts. But suddenly Remus returned. Dumbledore had hired him as a teacher for Defense Against the Dark Arts of all classes.  
  
When Severus saw him once more, he looked shabby and ill. Just seeing him again made Severus uneasy. He couldn't understand why he still had these horrible feelings for the werewolf that had nearly killed him as a teenager. It simply wasn't fair that he had to endure this torture while the werewolf got off scott free.  
  
Dumbledore had ordered him to make this special potion for Lupin and bring it to him every evening. Every evening he was forced to spend a few minutes alone with Remus Lupin. He wanted badly to make excuses, to run away, but he couldn't. He still wanted to see Remus, to be near him, but it made him nervous and uneasy. He always had to look down because he could feel his normally pale face flush when Remus' hands brushed against his.  
  
In the face of such embarrassment, he always forced himself to maintain a cold facade. As long as Remus didn't know, he was sure he would be safe. But if Remus ever found out, that was one of Severus' worst fears. Remus would never love him back. He had been Black and Potter's enemy at Hogwarts and was also an ex-Death Eater, not to mention he wasn't really sure Lupin liked other men like that. Severus sighed and put out the flame under the kettle with a wave of his wand. He picked up a nearby goblet and filled it with the bubbling gray fluid. He replaced the lid on the kettle and left his office.  
  
Remus' office was located two floors above his own so it shouldn't take long to walk there. Soon he found himself in front of the door to Remus' office. He cleared his throat and pushed the door open. The office was nearly empty except for a tank with a grindylow, several dusty books and jars, a desk and some ragged old chairs. The grindylow had bared its fangs at him and was brandishing a fist threateningly.  
  
Severus spun around on his heel and left without a word, closing the heavy oak door behind him. He looked down the empty hallway and a thought occurred to him: Remus was probably asleep in his chambers by now. Severus shifted uneasily, his mouth suddenly becoming very dry. It was his duty to make sure Remus took a gobletful of the wolfsbane potion every evening.  
  
He gathered up his courage and strode down the hall and up the winding flight of stairs. As soon as he approached Remus' chambers, Mrs. Norris came around the corner. Her lamp-like eyes bored into Severus as he stopped. 'Damnable cat', He thought, 'suspicious of everything!'  
  
"Shoo!" He muttered and Mrs. Norris finally ambled casually away. "Stupid cat." He muttered under his breath.  
  
He pulled out his wand and whispered, "Aholamora." The door sprung open quietly and Severus peeked inside. There was a sort of warmth to the room despite the usual cold stone walls. An old stone mantelpiece hung over the dying embers of a fire. Across from the mantelpiece, a massive oak bed rested against the wall. Soft blue draperies were hung from the wall and light blue bed sheets were draped over a handsome figure. Several rays of moonlight gave Remus' face a supernatural sort of glow.  
  
Remus was soundly asleep. Severus closed the door behind him and carefully placed the goblet on the mantel. Slowly, he walked up to the bed and pulled the curtains back slightly. Severus held his breath - Remus was laying there, his graying brown locks cascading over the pillow and his robes open at the top revealing a porcelain smooth chest.  
  
Severus was now faced with a predicament. Should he lean over Remus and wake him up, call his name loudly and perhaps attract the attention of Peeves, or just leave? He couldn't leave, so he finally decided to lean over Remus. Just as he leaned forward Remus shifted, startling Severus and causing him to fall forward. He just barely caught himself in time to keep him from falling on top of Remus.  
  
He looked down at Remus' face and felt a wave of relief wash over him when he realized he was still asleep. His face was incredibly handsome and he looked so innocent asleep. Severus felt a sudden over-powering urge to kiss Remus' lips, but he couldn't without giving away how he felt. He blinked down at the peacefully sleeping man and realized his lips were moving. Severus leaned closer to hear what he was saying and caugh one word - "Sirius".  
  
Furious, he straightened up and stalked over to the mantelpiece, picked up the goblet, and returned to the bed where he prodded Remus awake with it.  
  
"Wh..what?" Remus bolted upright, startled.  
  
"You forgot to take your potion tonight." Severus sneered.  
  
"Ah...thank you." Remus took the goblet and watched as Severus swept out of the chamber, the door snapping shut behind him. How could he ever explain that he felt love for such a cold and uncaring man? James and Sirius would have scoffed at him if he even mentioned such a notion and Severus never seemed to feel anything remotely similar to love towards Remus.  
  
He thought back on the nightmare he'd just had. It had been terrible. Sirius had escaped from Azkaban to kill both Severus and Harry, the two people Remus really cared about. Remus had fought Sirius to prevent him from fulfilling Voldemort's desire to destroy Harry, but he felt himself losing. Just as Voldemort had lifted his wand to finally kill Remus, Severus had woken him and inadvertently saved him from his nightmare.  
  
-THE END - 


End file.
